Skulltulla Haus
by E1pnvn
Summary: Link forgot to kill all of the Skulltullas! Now it's up to an arachnophobic ranch girl to squish the rest.
1. Arachnophobia

E1pnvn's Note: Hello everyone! Thanks for reading my story! I hope you enjoy it, and even if you don't, at least I can take solace in the fact that I affected someone, even if it was just by making their eyes sore. Seriously though, this is my first fanfiction so go easy on me. This story takes place awhile after Ocarina of Time and is all about Sara, a sixteen-year-old who lives on Lon Lon Ranch, and her adventures concerning Skulltullas. Just so you know, Sara is Malon's daughter but I won't say who her father is so that Malinkers or non-Malinkers can fill in the blank to their liking. And that's pretty much the story. There will be romance later on, with plenty of action and silliness in between. Enjoy! And REVIEW!

Oh wait, almost forgot: DISCLAIMER- I don't own Zelda; Nintendo does

SKULLTULLA HAUS

By E1pnvn

Chapter one - Arachnophobia

There's only one thing in the world that scares me: spiders.

Which is kind of ironic since I live on a ranch. It seems like there's always a spider lurking around somewhere; either in the corner of the barn or in an old milk bottle or sometimes even in the farmhouse where I live with my grandfather. In fact, I can't think of any other place in Hyrule that's more spider-infested than Lon Lon Ranch in the summertime. So basically, I'm always getting nasty eight-legged surprises.

Any other bug I can tolerate. Slugs and snails: no problem. They're a little slimy and they're pests when it comes to crops but they're relatively harmless. Bees I actually find rather attractive with their yellow-black bodies and I've never been stung by a wasp so they don't bother me either. Even cockroaches aren't too bad.

But spiders... I just don't do spiders. They're gross. And scary and creepy and crawly and nasty and... ugh! I hate them.

But isn't it strange how sometimes the things you hate can end up changing your life? It's funny how things work like that. I guess its just bad luck. I can't think of any other reason why spiders were the things that turned my life upside-down and inside-out. Why couldn't it have been cute, fuzzy bunnies? Or slugs or snails or any other bug? But no, it had to be spiders.

And it all began, ironically, on a relatively spider-free day. I woke up at dawn, like I always did, and went downstairs to get breakfast going for grandpa and I. I had to cook because my grandpa, Talon, was old and senile and probably wouldhave forgotten what he was doing in the middle of frying eggs. Actually, he had done so on many occasions before. So, I made breakfast every day to save the time (and the eggs).

I whistled to myself as I cooked some bacon in my skillet. When the bacon was just starting to turn brown, I looked up at the ceiling for no real reason and got my first surprise of the day: There weren't any spider webs up there. There weren't cobwebs along the roof beams or threads hanging from the corners or anything. It was perfectly clean. Now, I'm not saying that I'm a neat-freak or that spider webs creep me out as much as spiders do, but it was nice to see that I wouldn't have any little friends coming to visit me in the kitchen. I couldn't help but smile as I prodded the bacon with a spatula and went back to whistling.

When I had breakfast done, I woke up Talon and ate with him then went out to start my chores. My first job of the day was to let the horses out of the stable and into the corral. This I did with ease and I found that, again, I didn't run into any spiders. I was quite happy about this because I usually found the little critters slinking around the stalls. But today, I was lucky. And my luck didn't end there. When I went to feed the Cuckoos, there weren't any spiders in their pen either. And when I went to go milk the cows, no one had decided to build a web in my milk bucket overnight. In fact, by the time I returned to the farmhouse for lunch, I had nearly forgotten that spiders even existed.

I found Talon sleeping in his chair just inside the house. It was his job to greet any customers that came by and do buisness with them (sell them milk, give away bottles, force them to play strange Cuckoo games, etc.). It had always been his job, even when my mom was a kid, and he was quite good at it, even though he was always falling asleep. I poked him and he woke with a start.

"What in tarnation!" he barked, looking around wildly.

Then he noticed me and relaxed a little.

"Oh, Sara," he said. "Yeh scared the bajeepers out of me!"

"Sorry about your bajeepers, grandpa," I said with a grin. "But it's time for lunch. Do you want me to make anything special for you?"

"Hmm..." he said, scratching his chin.

He thought for awhile, then looked confused. I knew what was coming next. Whenever grandpa thought for too long, he always forgot what he was thinking about in the first place. Such are the disadvantages of being over ninety years old.

"Huh, what?" he said. "What were we talkin' about?"

"Lunch, grandpa," I said.

"Oh right, lunch," Talon said. "What're we havin'?"

I smiled a little. "I was thinking of just making sandwiches," I said. "If that's okay with you."

"Sounds just dandy," said grandpa.

I disappeared into the kitchen for a second, coming back a few minutes later with our sandwiches and two bottles of milk. We sat down at the table and ate.

When we had finished emptying our plates and milk bottles, I brought the dishes into the kitchen and dropped them in the sink. Dishes weren't my job: cleaning them was part of grandpa's chores. Of course, he would probably end up forgetting to do them and I'd have to clean them, but I didn't have to worry about that right now. I went back into the living room, where grandpa had resumed his post at the chair by the door. It looked like he was dozing off again.

"See ya, grandpa," I said. I made for the door, about to go do my other chores, but he stopped me.

"Oh, wait Sara," he said, sleepily. "I forgot to tell you..."

"Tell me what?" I asked him.

"Hmm..." said grandpa. He scratched his head. "It was... I had to tell you to... Oh, tarnation, I've gone and forgotten it! Hold on a sec, lemme try and think about this..."

He tapped his head, as if trying to dislodge somethingfrom his brain, and scrunched up his face in concentration. I'd always thought that it was kind of funny when grandpa tried to remember things. But I always tried to help him nonetheless.

"Did it have anything to do with the ranch?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah... I think so..."

"Did it have to do with crazy Cuckoo games?" I asked, hoping beyond hope that it didn't.

"No, no..." grandpa said.

"How about horses?"

"Nope."

"Queen Zelda?"

"Nope."

"Evil mutant ducks with Keatan masks?"

"No-Hey!" he said and I burst into giggles. "Tarnation, Sara, this is serious!"

"Sorry, grandpa. I couldn't resist," I said, still smiling.

Grandpa chucked. Then, a light suddenly seemed to turn on in his head.

"I remember now!" he said, triumphantly. "I needed you ter deliver some milk to a bloke down in Kakariko Village. Can yeh do that for me?"

"Sure," I said. "I'll get the wagon ready and head on down there."

"The milk's all ready to go, right outside of the stable," he said. "Thanks a ton, Sara."

I smiled and left. It didn't take me long to get ready. The wagon we used to deliver milk in was small and had only two wheels and no cover. I loaded it with so many milk boxes that it creaked under the weight, then I tied it to one of the horses to be pulled. The horse I chose was a friendly white mare named Midnight. Why she'd been given such an oxymoronic name was beyond me, but she responded to it so there was no changing it.

When everything was ready, I mounted Midnight and soon we were ambling out of the ranch and down the road through Hyrule Field.

It was a beautiful day out. The sun beat down on me but there was a cool breeze that evened out the temperature. Flowers dotted the field, swaying lightly in the breeze, and bees buzzed around among them. I even saw a Pea Hat a few yards away. It was a giant, flower-like beast that was very dangerous, I knew, but looked rather pretty from a distance.

Unfortunately, the pleasent ride only lasted a few minutes before we had crossed Zora's River and were at Kakariko's front gates. Kakariko Village was once inhabited only by a shadowy, magic-loving race called the Sheikahs. But when the Sheikahs had died out, the last survivor of their race, a lady named Impa, had turned the village into a thriving city, open to everyone. It was a nice little place, even though it was crowded, and most of the people there were farmers or paupers (except for one lady who took care of Cuckoos, but she was a whole other caste unto herself).

I rode in, greeting the knight who guarded the front gate, then took Midnight over to a stable where she could stay. I left the wagon near the stable and went to find the man I was supposed to be selling milk to. His name was Mr. Brown. I knew him pretty well because he often stopped by the ranch to pick up milk or eggs. He lived in a big house near the town's graveyard and soon I was standing on his doorstep and knocking on his door.

"Your milk's here, Mr. Brown!" I called.

There was a bit of a commotion inside as someone came hurrying to the door. Then, the door swung open and Mr. Brown appeared, smiling. He was tall and thin, with graying brown hair and a fuzzy, caterpillar mustache.

"Why, good afternoon, Malon!" he said, good-naturedly.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Uh... Mr. Brown-?" I started, but he realized his mistake before I could correct him.

"Oh, Sara!" he said. "I'm so sorry. You just look so much like your mother!"

"I understand," I said. "I get that a lot."

He chuckled. "So, how are your folks anyway?" he asked.

"Oh, they're good," I said. "We got a letter from them a few days ago. They're in Termina right now; Dad's doing some buisness up there. But they should be back in a month or two."

"Wonderful," said Mr. Brown. He paused. "So... About that milk?"

I smiled and led him over to the stable and my wagon. With his help, I was able to haul the milk boxes over to his house and store them in his cellar. When it was done, he handed me my rupees and I tried to leave, but he insisted that I stay and have some tea and cake with him as a reward for my help. So I stayed (come on, who can say no to free cake?).

Mr. Brown and I got to talking, mostly about how our families were doing and such, and his wife brought us out some tea. I'm not sure if it was because of our conversation or Mrs. Brown's delicious chocolate cake, but I completely lost track of time and the sun was already setting by the time I left. I said a hurried goodbye to the Browns and went to the stable to pick up Midnight and the wagon.

But when I got there, all I found was Midnight and a stable hand. I looked around but the wagon was nowhere to be seen.

"Um... Excuse me?" I said to the hostler.

"Yeah?" he said, looking bored.

"Did you see what happened to the wagon that was here earlier?"

"Yeah, some guys came and picked it up," said the hostler.

My heart sank.

"Who were they?" I asked.

"Dunno," said the hostler. "They said it was their wagon so..." he shrugged. "I let them have it."

I felt like hitting him. The idiot! He'd let some theives make off with my only wagon! And those things don't come cheap you know.

Talon was not going to be happy about this...

The hostler watched me as I was thinking these worrying thoughts and smiled. "Oh, I get it," he said. "You had your eye on that wagon didn't you?"

I stared at him.

"It was MY wagon you son of a Keesh!" was what I wanted to say, but what came out of my mouth was: "Yes, I did."

"Well, there's a wagon just like it for sale at the bazaar across the street," he said. "You might be able to buy it for, say, 300 rupees."

"I don't have 300 rupees," I said.

He chuckled, which made me want to slap him even more. "I guess you're on your own then," he said.

I made a face and started to get Midnight ready to go. I had the saddle and bridle on her and we were ready to leave, when the hostler spoke again:

"Actually... Maybe I CAN be of help."

I turned to look at him. "What d'you mean?" I asked.

"I know a place where you can get the money," he said.

"Where?" I asked.

"There's this weird old house on the other side of the graveyard," he said. "Whenever people go there, they come back with tons of cash!"

"Oh really?" I said, skeptically.

"Seriously! They do!" he said. "I saw a guy go in there once and come back out with a Giant's Wallet full of rupees."

I can usually tell when people are lying. It's like a weird gift that I have. And somehow, I felt like this guy was telling the truth, even if his story sounded crazy.

"Well, if everyone who goes there gets rich, why isn't this whole town loaded?" I asked.

"Well..." said the hostler. He smiled mysteriously. "It's 'cus everyone's afraid to go there. You see, when people go to that house, they either come back with rupees... Or don't come back at all."

I raised an eyebrow.

"It's true!" he said. "They just disappear without a trace. Some people say that the house's haunted. But me and my buddies think that some kind of homicidal maniac lives there or something."

"That's just stupid," I said. "I bet those are just rumors."

"Well, if they're just rumors, why don't you go pay the house a visit?" the hostler asked.

I don't know why I reacted the way I did. Maybe it was because of his tone of voice; the way he sounded like he was challenging me. Or maybe it was because I really DID need the money for a wagon.

Whatever the reason, I found myself saying: "Maybe I will!"

And with that, I stomped out of the stable, walking straight across town and into the graveyard.

Like I've mentioned before, the only thing in the world that scares me is spiders. And you can lay to that. Not even Kakariko's spooky graveyard at twilight scared me, although it did depress me a bit. The place was dismal, that was for sure. The gravestones loomed in the darkness like solid shadows and seemed to radiate gloominess. I made my way through them, trying to stay on the path and not walk on any mounds. The mounds didn't scare me, but I kept thinking that I sure wouldn't like someone walking on ME if I were dead.

The sun had fully set now and it was getting harder for me to see where I was going. I stubbed my toe on a gravestone and swore loudly, but kept going. After what seemed like hours, I finally saw my destination.

The house stood before me like some kind of gray beast. It's cracked and shutterless windows stared at me like unblinking eyes and its door, which was barely hanging on its hinges, looked like a gaping mouth.

I admit: I was almost scared then. But my doubt only lasted for a second and soon I was climbing up onto the house's front steps. I came to the door and knocked.

No answer.

I knocked again.

Still no answer.

I had expected that no one would be home. Not even a homicidal maniac would live in THIS dump. So, how was it that those people the hostler mentioned had gotten their money? I was starting to think that he'd made up the whole thing. But my curiosity kept me going and I opened the door and entered the old house.

The first room I walked into looked like it had once been grand. It was huge, with a ceiling so high I couldn't see it, and had a big spiral staircase at its far end. I imagined what it must have looked like when the house was new... The wood floor must have been polished and the room had probably been lit by the chandelier that hung above me. But now the room was gray and dark. The floor was rotten and had termites and the chandelier was nothing more than a hunk of wood that had somehow managed to stay hanging from the ceiling. It was kind of sad really.

I went over to the staircase and tested one of the steps with my foot. It seemed sturdy enough so I started climbing them. I looked around me and realized, with a shiver, that the house was full of cobwebs. They were in every nook and cranny imaginable and it gave me the willies to think of how many spiders it took to make so many webs. I just hoped that the spiders had left with the house's old owners.

At the top of the stairs was a door and I went through it to find myself in a hallway. It was long and narrow, with old paintings hanging from the walls on either side. I walked a little way down the hall, looking at the paintings. I could barely see them because they were so covered in dust, but I noticed that they were all portraits. Portraits of people with red eyes. Sheikahs? One in particular caught my eye and I stopped to look at it. It was of a woman with long gray hair and a crooked, mischeivous smile. Her red eyes seemed to bore into me. She was definitely a Sheikah; I could tell by the clothes she was wearing. They were blue and silver robes with pictures of eyes all over them. Non-Sheikah Hylians never dressed like that.

Her painting was larger than the others and reached from the floor to the ceiling. As I was inspecting the top of the picture, I got a glimpse of the ceiling and did a double take. My jaw dropped at what I saw and I would have screamed if I hadn't been so shocked. The entire ceiling was covered in spider webs. And I mean COVERED! I couldn't even see the actual ceiling through the thick web.

It was then that I started hearing it. There was a strange scratching sound coming from somewhere nearby and it sent chills down my spine. It started quietly at first, but then grew gradually louder.

NOW I was scared.

I bolted back out of the hall and into the entrance room. The scratching kept getting louder and louder as I clambered down the stairs and made for the door... But then I stopped dead in my tracks.

The front door was covered by webs! Those webs hadn't been there before! I tried to tear them off, but they were surprisingly strong and wouldn't break. I was panicking now. I couldn't get out!

I turned and looked around wildly. There had to be another way out. There just had to be... I ran back up the stairs and into the hallway full of paintings. I raced down it, hoping that there would be an exit at the end of it.

The scratching sound was booming in my ears now. It seemed like it was coming from all around me. My heart was pounding and tears were burning my eyes. All I could think of was getting out of this place. I had to get out. I had to get out...

Finally, I saw a door at the end of the hall. I was so close to it; I just had to run a little bit further. The scratching sound suddenly stopped. I didn't take heed of it though; all I wanted was to get to that door. I reached out my hand to grab the doorknob...

But then something suddenly fell down from the ceiling right in front of me. I yelled and jumped back. Then, I saw what it was.

Hanging in front of me was a spider. But this wasn't an ordinary spider. It was huge, almost as big as me, and had a white body and yellow legs. All this was enough to terrify me, but there was something else about the beast that made it even worse: its eyes. It had two blue eyes, right in the middle of its white body. But they weren't spider eyes. They were human eyes. And right above those eyes was a tuft of red-brown human hair.

I was so horrified, I couldn't move. I just stood there shaking and moving my mouth, trying to scream and failing.

The monster in front of me moved closer, making an all-too-familiar scratching sound. Then it spoke:

"Hello."

My poor mind just couldn't take that. I fainted.

E1pnvn's Other Note: Well, that's chapter one! Hope you liked it. Please review and come back for more!


	2. The Sheikah's Curse

E1pnvn's Note: Thanks to all the people who reviewed! For being so nice, I now offer you this blessing: "As you slide down the banisters of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way". Haha. There are also specific thank-yous for all of you below the story. And, moving on, here's chapter two! Just so you know, I changed the whole story behind the Skulltullas around a little (ok, maybe a lot). I just thought it would be easier to write about my own characters than about some guy and his bazillion kids. So, just kind of keep an open mind during this chapter and you should understand everything... I hope. Anyway, on with the story. Don't forget to read and review people! Thanks!

DISCLAIMER - I don't own Zelda, but if I ever find a genie in a magic lamp, you can bet that that'll be my first wish.

SKULLTULLA HAUS

By E1pnvn

Chapter two -The Sheikah's Curse

I don't know how long I was unconscious for, but I eventually started to come back to myself. I didn't open my eyes, feeling too tired to do so, and allowed my mind to slowly recover. It took me awhile to remember all that had happened. But when I did, I suddenly didn't feel tired anymore. My first instinct was to get up and run away as fast as I could in any random direction... But then I heard voices. They were coming from right next to me so I kept my eyes closed just in case their owners weren't friendly.

"Do you think I scared her?" said one voice. It was soft and deep and sounded vaguely familiar, although I couldn't decide on where I'd heard it before.

"No, Jonas. I'm sure she just fainted because she was happy to see you," said a second voice. This one was deeper and not as gentle.

The first voice, which I assumed belonged to someone named Jonas, sighed.

"Right... That was a stupid thing for me to say," he said. "I'm just feeling guilty, that's all. I didn't mean to scare her. And she might have hurt herself when she fell..."

"Oh relax, will you?" said Jonas' companion. "She'll be fine."

"You're probably right," said Jonas. "But the least we can do is take her to one of the beds to rest in. I don't like that she's lying on the floor like that."

"Are you kidding?" said Jonas' friend. "The beds here haven't been used in years. They're probably all full of bugs and junk."

It was here that I decided I couldn't keep still any longer. The thought of being carried by two strangers to a bed full of who-knows-what just wasn't very pleasent by my standards. I sat up with a yelp and opened my eyes.

I instantly regretted it. I was sitting on the floor of the portrait-hall and hanging next to me were two of the horrible giant spiders. One of them was the one I'd encountered before. The other looked just like the first, except that it had brown eyes and a brown tuft of hair. I screamed when I saw them. Without thinking, I scrambled to my feet and started down the hall, away from them. But the monsters had other plans. The red-haired one scurried along the ceiling and dropped down in front of me. It started to say something, but I just turned around and ran in the opposite direction. To my great dismay, the second beast came down in front of me to block my way. I looked around frantically, but there was nowhere else to run. I was trapped between the two spiders. Horrified and defeated, I sank to my knees on the floor.

"P-p-please don't hurt me!" I begged. I covered my face with my arms, expecting them to come eat my head off at any second.

"Don't be afraid, m'lady," came a familiar voice and I tentatively lowered my arms to see who had spoken.

It was the red-haired spider. "We won't hurt you," it said.

I recognized the voice as Jonas'. So THIS was Jonas? These things had names? I looked at him warily.

"Wh-what d'you want?" I asked.

"We just need some help," said Jonas. "All we ask is that you listen to what we have to say and help us if you feel like it. We won't force you into anything."

I was suspicious and more than a little freaked out, but I nodded nonetheless. "Ok..." I said.

"Good," came another familiar voice from behind me.

I turned to look at the other spider. So this was Jonas' friend... I hadn't caught his name yet.

"Come on, get up," said the mystery spider, cheerfully. "We'll take you to meet the others."

My eyes widened. Others? There were MORE spiders? I slowly and shakily got to my feet, not at all looking forward to this meeting.

Jonas came up to me until he was hanging at my side. I shivered at his presence but didn't say anything. Then, the two spiders led me down the hall and to the door I had been trying so desperately to get to earlier. Jonas' friend opened it and ushered me and Jonas inside.

The room we came into was big and circular. There was a huge window at its far end, surrounded by dusty curtains, and I could see that outside it was still dark with night. An assortment of easy chairs and sofas filled the room, along with a bookshelf in one corner and a desk in another.

But, what really caught my eye were the two new spiders that were hanging in the middle of the room.

They both turned to look at us when we came in. One of them had black hair and gray eyes and the other had blonde hair and green eyes. The blonde one was smaller than the other three spiders, so I wondered if she was female.

"We have a visitor," said Jonas, as the brown-haired spider closed the door.

"So I see," said the black-haired one. He sounded pompous, almost snobbish.

"Umm... I guess an introduction is in order," Jonas said to me with a nervous laugh. "My's name's Jonas."

He pointed with one of his legs at the brown-haired spider that had been with us the longest.

"That's Gustave," he said.

Gustave waved, or at least did the spider equivalent.

"And over there," Jonas continued, pointing to the black-haired spider, "is Leonard."

"Good evening," said Leonard.

"And that lady there," Jonas said, pointing to the last spider, "is his fiancee, Anne."

"It's nice to meet you," Anne said.

I blinked. "Uhh... hi," I said.

I realized that they were waiting for my name, so I added: "I'm Sara..."

They all seemed happy about this and started talking to one another. Being in the frazzled and confused state that I was in, I didn't really listen to what they were saying. Jonas seemed to sense that I was uncomfortable and faced me.

"You can sit down if you like, m'lady," he said, kindly.

I didn't really like the idea, but I found myself walking over to one of the chairs anyway and sinking into it. The four spiders crawled over and hung around me in a circle. This made me a bit uneasy, to say the least, especially since all they did was stare at me. It looked like no one was going to start talking any time soon, so I decided to break the spooky silence myself:

"Uh... Y-you said you needed help with something?"

I addressed Jonas, feeling slightly more comfortable (and by comfortable I mean not completely horrified) talking to him since I'd known him the longest.

"Yes, right," said Jonas. "Well, it's kind of a long story, really... For starters, I guess I should tell you that we haven't always been the beasts you see before you."

I blinked. My brain, which was already numb, simplywasn't computing.

"Huh?" I said.

"We didn't used to be monsters," said the spider named Gustave. "We used to be humans, just like you."

I stared at him. "How's that possible?"

"We were cursed," said Leonard. "A wicked lady turned us into what we are now."

"And this is how we'll remain unless the curse is broken," Anne finished.

I just blinked again. My brain still wasn't wrapping around all this.

"Here," said Jonas. "This will all be easier to understand if I just tell you everything from the beginning."

"Ok..." I said.

I leaned back in the chair and watched him. Jonas cleared his throat and began his story:

"Well, when I was fifteen, I used to be an apprentice to Gustave here, who worked as a blacksmith in Hyrule Castle Town. We both lived and worked near the castle and we were actually pretty wealthy compared to a lot of folks in town. Our little buisness was so popular, in fact, that Gustave's talents were wanted in places other than Castle Town. People from as far away as Termina and Holodrum wanted Gus to make their weapons and coat-hangers and whatnot. So, I sort of became a delivery boy as well as an apprentice. The deal was that Gus would make the desired merchandise and I would take it to Termina or wherever it was needed.

"The system worked out perfectly and Gus became a rich man. Which meant that I was the apprentice of a rich man and that made me far from poor myself. We were definitely living it large for awhile. But... well, that all changed one day when Gustave got an order from Death Mountain. Apparently, the Gorons were doing some kind of excavating project inside of Dodogono Cavern (I'm not sure of the details) and they needed shovels and pickaxes made for them right away. Gus took the job and soon the Gorons' supplies were ready to go. But that's when we ran into problems.

"To get to Death Mountain, I would have to pass through a Sheikah village at the mountain's base. Not much was known about the Sheikahs at the time, except that they were very secretive and didn't like to be disturbed by outsiders. Naturally, I didn't feel comfortable going through the village alone, and neither did Gustave, so we saddled up two horses and went together.

"The trip to the village was relatively short and shouldn't have taken us more than a few hours to travel... But fate had other plans for us, I guess.

"You see, right as we were about to cross Zora's River, a young couple came up to us and asked us for directions. They introduced themselves as Leonard Blate and Anne Wite and said that they were on their way to Kokiri Forest to be married. We congratulated them and offered to escort them to the forest. After all, Hyrule Field can be dangerous sometimes and we couldn't let the couple get hurt before their wedding, could we? So, we started towards the forest."

"Thanks for that, by the way," Anne interrupted.

Leonard shushed her. "Quiet! Let him finish the story!"

"Anyway," Jonas continued. "It turned out that Gustave and I weren't the best escorts in the world. We were attacked by a pack of Wolfos about halfway to the forest.

"Gus and I did our best to try and fend them off, but we were easily overwhelmed. The Wolfos killed our horses and our swords weren't strong enough to fight them with. We even resorted to using some of the Gorons' pickaxes as weapons, but those weren't much help either. It soon became obvious that our only chance of survival would be to run for it. So, the four of us turned tail and ran for our lives.

"The Wolfos were right behind us and we ran for a long time. It seemed like the Wolfos would never give up and we were really getting tired, so we made a rather desperate decision and jumped into Zora's River for safety. The Wolfos couldn't swim, so they finally let us be.

"We drifted down the river a bit, then climbed up onto a little island of land to rest. We were all exhausted. Gustave and I were mourning our lost merchandise and Leonard and Anne were griping about being late for their wedding. In short, we were all a little depressed.

"We took awhile to recover, then swam back to Hyrule field. All of the excitement had eaten away most of the day, so by the time we were back on land, it was nearing dusk. We weren't at all happy about this since there are always more monsters out at nighttime and the Wolfos had left us without any means of defense. So, the first thing on our minds was to get to safety.

"We decided that our best chance would be to take refuge in the nearest town... Which just so happened to be the Sheikah village. We probably should have been more cautious, but we were wet and tired and we weren't really thinking straight. We just walked right into the village without a second thought.

"It didn't take long for a Sheikah woman to spot us. She ran over to us and glared at us so fiercely, it stopped us in our tracks.

" ' What are you doing here?' she snapped. 'This village belongs to the Sheikahs! You Hylians have no place here!'

"We apologized and tried to explain, but she wouldn't hear it. She demanded that we leave the village at once. I was all for it, but Gustave just doesn't tolerate rude behavior. He confronted the Sheikah and told her... well, he said a few offensive things, which just made her angrier. She said that if we didn't leave, we would be severly punished.

"Leonard, who was also thoroughly annoyed by the lady, offered her five rupees to get her out of our hair. That also didn't go very well... The Sheikah could tell that Leonard was a pretty wealthy man and took his offering of pocket change as an insult.

" 'I've had it with you lot!' she cried. 'How DARE you dishonor the Sheikahs! I'll make you spend the rest of your days as the monsters you truly are!'

"And with that, she said some magic words and turned us into spiders."

I stared at Jonas in awe. "Did it hurt?" I asked.

"Yes, very much so," said Jonas. "But the real punishment was afterour transformation."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"The story Jonas just told you happened almost one hundred years ago," said Gustave. "All this time we've been confined to this house."

"We can't go out in the open because people are afraid of us," Leonard explained. "They'd kill us if they knew about us."

"So you've been sitting in this room for a century?" I asked.

"Yep," said Anne. "It seems like the Sheikah's spell also increased our lifespan. We've only aged a few years since the day we were curse, even though decades have passed. The Sheikah probably meant for us to be this way forever."

I let all of this sink in. I felt a little more comfortable around the spiders now, knowing that they had once been human. I even felt sorry for them. It must have been hard living in hiding for so long, afraid to leave in case people wouldn't accept you. Plus, everyone Jonas and the others had known and loved were probably long dead by now. It really pulled at my heartstrings.

"And that's our story," Jonas concluded, sounding melancholy.

I nodded. There was a long silence.

"And... there's a way I can help you?" I said at last.

Jonas' eyes brightened. If he'd had a human mouth, he probably would have been smiling.

"Yes, there is a way to break the curse," he said. "You see, hidden throughout Hyrule are a certain type of spider called Skulltullas. When a person kills a Skulltulla, they get a magical token as a sort of reward for doing so. These tokens are the key to breaking the Sheikah's curse."

"We need one hundred tokens to save all of us," said Gustave. "Ninety seven tokens will free one of us, ninety eight will free another, and ninety nine will free a third. Obviously, we're aiming for one hundred."

"We first found out about the tokens about a decade after being cursed," Leonard added. "A man came wandering into our house and he had one with him. The token sort of glowed and disappeared when it made contact with us. We were interested, so we offered the man rupees if he'd go get us some more, which he did."

"And we've been collecting them ever since," said Anne. "We can't go out and get them ourselves, so whenever someone comes to our house, we give them money to go get as many tokens as they can for us."

"We pay them rather handsomely," Leonard continued. "About ninety rupees per token."

"Over the years, we've certainly used up a lot of Leonard's fortune," said Gustave. "Not to mention mine! But I guess it's for a good cause..."

I suddenly remembered what the hostler in Kakariko had told me. This explained how all of those people had gotten their money... But what about the people who had disappeared?

I gulped. "Um... What exactly do you do to people who don't agree to help you?" I asked.

"Nothing," said Jonas. "And we won't do anything to you if you don't want to help. We'll just let you go, no questions asked. Of course, you'd also have to swear that you would never tell anyone about us, but other than that, everything would go back to normal for you."

I relaxed a little. So at least that part about missing people was a rumor...

"So... Will you help us?" asked Anne.

I thought about it. I was still terrified of spiders and squishing magical ones didn't sound very fun. But I couldn't just leave Jonas and the others cursed, could I?

"How many Skulltulla-whatevers do I have to kill?" I asked.

"We're very close to our goal," said Jonas. "There are only four spiders left and we already know where they are."

Four. Four didn't seem too bad... I took a deep breath and said: "Ok. I'll help you."

The four spiders cheered. I think Anne even had tears in her eyes.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" they chanted.

I just sort of smiled uncomfortably. I was still thinking about what the heck I'd gotten myself into, when the spiders finally calmed down and Jonas inspected me.

"You look tired," he said. "Goddesses, you must be! It's nearly midnight!"

I looked out of the window and saw that the almost-full moon was high in the sky. It WAS almost midnight. I guess time flies when you're talking to cursed spiders.

"We should get you to bed..." Jonas said.

"NO!" I interupted. I still remembered the conversation he and Gustave had had about the beds in this place.

Jonas blinked, a little surprised at my outburst.

"She's right," said Gustave. "I told you, Jonas, the beds here are nasty."

"What about that one in the room near the parlor?" said Anne. "That one's clean."

"Nothing's clean in this rat-hole..." I heard Leonard mumble.

But I reallyWAS starting to feel tired, so I decided to take the risk and try Anne's bed.

"That bed sounds good," I said, trying to hold in a yawn.

"Okay then," said Jonas. "Follow me."

He scurried along the ceiling over to a door that I hadn't noticed before. I followed him obediently. We went through the door and down a hallway, then we rounded a corner and went down another hallway. Jonas walked on the ceiling the whole time, making that creepy scratching sound of his. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he led me into a small bedroom.

The room was dusty and gray, just like the rest of the hosue, and didn't have anything in it except for a bed in its center. I went to the bed and tested it with my hands. It seemed clean enough and the blankets actually felt kind of nice, so I decided it was worthy of my presence.

Jonas, was was hanging in the doorway, cleared his throat. I looked at him.

"I guess I'll leave you, now," he said. "Is this room alright for you?"

"It's fine," I said. "Thanks."

I climbed into the bed and moved around to find a comfortable position to lay in. Jonas was still in the doorway and watched me until I was curled up and ready for sleep.

"Good night," he said. "If you need anything, just call for one of us and we'll be able to find you."

"Ok," I said, closing my eyes.

The last thing he said before leaving was: "Thanks again. I promise you won't regret this."

And right before falling asleep, I remember hoping that he was right.

E1pnvn's Other Note: Sorry if that chapter was at all confusing. Anyway, it's time to thank my favorite people in the world: my reviewers! Wahoo!

Greki - YAAAAAAAY! You were my very first reviewer and you made me very, very happy. You seem like the reviewer for little people; whenever there's a new story or a story without many reviews you're always one of the first to comment. I salute you!

Huanir - Wow, I take that as a huge compliment. My confidence has had a nice little boost because of you. Thank you very much!

Hylian Moon- Yay, I was aiming for lighthearted. I think... Actually, I'm not sure, but I think it's a good thing! Thanks for the review!

neogirl7900- Hmm... Actually, I'm not sure where "bajeepers" came from. It might have been from Jimmy Nuetron or it might have been from something else. I'm always putting things I've read or seen on TV into my writing without realizing it (good thing "bajeepers" isn't copyrighted). Anyway, thanks for reviewing and I hope you continue that story of yours.

Vladimir the Hamster- I can't get over how awesome your pen-name is! Vladimir the Hamster, haha. Anyway, thanks for telling me how to spell "cucco". I guess I should check my spelling on the monsters and places and stuff more... Whoops! Thanks for the review. I loved your poem by the way! And I'm glad you hate Skulltullas because I think they're evil too.

I love all of you! Please review again. And those of you who haven't reviewed yet should comment too!


	3. Cuccos and Rivers

E1pnvn's Note: Once again, thanks to my reviewers and there are specific thank-yous at the bottom (although, they might be shorter because there are more of you this time). Sadly, I have no bizarre blessings for you though, haha. But, here's chapter three anyway! This chapter is dedicated to the evil cucco at Zora's River that always walks into the water and drowns himself right when I'm about to pick him up. I think he's possessed.

DISCLAIMER - I don't own Zelda, but when I become the ruthless ruler of the universe I will have Nintendo make Zelda games for me daily. Mwahahahaha.

SKULLTULLA HAUS

By E1pnvn

Chapter three - Cuccos and Rivers

I had a pretty good dream that night. I dreamt that I was back at home, milking cows and talking to Talon and doing other ranch things as if it was just a normalday. Of course, the cows were purple and there were other little tidbits of my dream world that were much different than the real world, but I thought it seemed real enough while I was dreaming it. In fact, I was almost saddened when I woke up and found that Talon and the purple cows were nowhere to be seen. Instead, I was greeted by the gray, empty room I had fallen asleep in.

I sat up and stretched with a yawn. The spiders' old bed had been perfectly fine. I'd slept peacefully all night without a single bug in my sheets or lump in my matress. Actually, now that I thought about it, I had probably slept better in the spiders' bed than I ever had in my own bed at the ranch. I made a mental note to thank to spiders for their hospitality...

But, before I could think anything else about Jonas and his friends, my stomach growled loudly and I rubbed it. I realized that I hadn't eaten anything since the cake I'd had with Mr. Brown the previous afternoon. And my tummy didn't like that one bit. It scolded me with another growl and I slid out of bed.

I remembered what Jonas had told me last night about calling for him when I needed him. So, I stuck my head out of the room and did just that:

"Jonas?"

At first there was no answer. I was about to try again, but then I heard a distant and familiar scratching sound. It grew louder and louder until Jonas appeared on the ceiling above me.

"You're awake!" he said, cheerfully. "Did you sleep well, m'lady?"

"Very well, thanks," I said. It seemed rather odd, but I was actually kind of getting used to talking to the giant spider. "Um... Do you guys have anything to eat?"

Jonas chewed on this for a moment.

"Er... Nothing that would please your tastes, I'm afraid," he said. "Unless you like drinking the blood from beetle carcasses..."

I shivered. "That's ok," I said, quickly. "I guess I'll just get something to eat in town..."

Jonas nodded... Or rather, he sort of bobbed his body up and down. I assumed it was a nod.

"But before you do that..." he said. "If you don't mind, the others and I still have a few more things to tell you."

"Ok," I said. "Take me to them."

Jonas did his bobbing thing again and started scampering along the ceiling. I followed him and eventually we were back in the circular room where we'd had our first little meeting. Gustave, Anne and Leonard were already there.

"Good morning," said Anne and Gustave.

"It's about time you got up," said Leonard.

"Morning," I said, ignoring the last spider's comment.

Jonas scurried over to the others and the four of them looked at me.

"So, back to buisness then," said Gustave. "It's time to go get those Skulltullas!"

"Like we said, we already know where they are," said Jonas. "And the first one is in Zora's Domain."

I smiled at this, despite myself. I'd always wanted to go to Zora's Domain, but my work at the ranch had prevented me from ever doing so. Maybe Skulltulla-killing wouldn't be as bad as I'd thought.

"You should be able to squish the Skulltulla easily," Jonas continued. "You can use a sword or a knife..."

"Or you can just stomp on it," said Leonard. "That works too."

"Ew, Leo!" Anne said. "Don't talk about stomping on spiders! WE'RE spiders!

"Exactly," Leonard said. "And I don't want to be one anymore!"

Jonas cleared his throat to silence them.

"Anyway," he said. "That's where you need to go: Zora's Domain. Any questions?"

"Not right now..." I said. "But what if I need help later on?"

Jonas considered this. Then, he seemed to get an idea. He started moving his legs around in a strange way and I wondered what he was doing, until I realized that he was spinning a web. He made a small ball of web, about the size of my fist, and gave it to me. I stared at it. It felt strangely solid in my hands and there was a weird blueish tint to the threads. There was also a single loop of thread that came out from it so that, if I wanted to, I could wear it around my neck as a sort of gaudy necklace.

I looked back up at Jonas. "Um... what's this for?" I asked.

"The Sheikah spell that turned us into spiders also left behind a little magic in us," Jonas explained. "That magic is expressed in our webs. Have you noticed how solid and unbreakable our threads are? Also, we've found that we can communicate through our webs."

"Communicate?" I asked.

"Yeah," said Gustave. "For example, if Anne spun a web, you could talk to the web and Anne would be able to hear you."

"We aren't sure how it works," said Leonard. "It just does. It's like our webs are connected to us somehow."

"The point is," said Anne, "that wherever you are, if you talk into that ball of web, Jonas will be able to hear you and talk back to you."

"Ok..." I said. This whole spider thing just kept getting weirder and weirder...

"So, if you need help, just ask my web," said Jonas.

I nodded and hesitated before putting the necklace on. Since Jonas and the others didn't have a name for it, I decided to call it my "web-thing". It actually felt kind of comfortable around my neck. Although, saying that the web-thing lookeda littlestrange was as big an understatement as saying that the universe was a bit roomy.

I looked once again to the spiders, waiting for them to tell me anything else. But it seemed that they were done explaining everything.

"I guess... I'll go now," I said, figeting a little. Then, remembering my mental note, I added: "Thanks for the bed."

The four of them nodded, or bobbed, or whatever to acknowledge my thanks.

I smiled and, not knowing what else to do, turned around and left. When I was about halfway down the portrait hall, the spiders all shouted to me in unison: "THANK YOU FOR HELPING US!"

I couldn't help but laugh at that as I continued down the hall and eventually exited the house.

Kakariko's graveyard wasn't nearly as dreary during the daytime. The sunlight seemed to wash away all of the spookiness and, although gloom still hung in the air, it wasn't as thick as before. I made my way through the graveyard and back to the village. By then, I was definitely hungry and it didn't take me long to hunt down a restaraunt to have breakfast in.

It was right near Kakariko's front gate and seemed like a nice little place. I ordered pancakes, something different than the bacon and eggs I usually cooked for Talon, and paid for it with some of the money Mr. Brown had given me for his milk. When my tummy was finally satisfied, I tipped my waitress and left to start my Skulltulla-finding quest.

I was about to leave town, but then I remembered something and stopped in my tracks. For some reason, last night's dream came to my mind and it reminded me of grandpa and the ranch. Why hadn't I thought of that before? Grandpa was probably worried sick about me because I hadn't come home. And how would he run the ranch without me? I couldn't leave him. But I couldn't leave Jonas and the others either, not when I'd promised to help them.

And, as an afterthought, I also couldn't leave Midnight in Kakariko's stable forever.

I decided to fix the horse problem first, seeing as it was the easiest to remedy. I went to the stable and, sure enough, there was Midnight, looking happy to see me. But she wasn't the only one there. The hostler I'd talked to before was also present, looking as bored as ever. The boredom was quickly wiped from his face, however, when he saw me. He hurried over to me, looking excited.

"Did you go to the house?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yep," I said, proudly.

"So? How was it?" he urged. "Who lives there? Did they give you any money?"

I opened my mouth to tell him all about the spiders, but then I stopped. Jonas had said that I couldn't tell anyone about them. So, I made up a good lie.

"The house was empty," I said. "You should stop listening to rumors."

The hostler gawked at me. I walked past him and took Midnight by the reins, starting to lead her out of the stable.

"Well, darn it!" the hostler said suddenly, and I turned to look at him. "I'd thought there was actually something interesting going on around here!"

I raised an eyebrow at him in question.

"This town is so BORING," he explained. "The only excitement around here is when someone brings a horse in."

I considered this. Then, a brilliant idea came to me. It just popped into my head, like most great ideas do, and I grinned triumphantly.

"Do you like horses?" I asked.

The hostler looked at me like I had an Octorok sticking out of my ear. "Why would I be working in a stable if I didn't like horses?" he said.

I ignored his comment and continued: "I know a really good job for you and it'll pay well!"

"Ok," said the hostler. "What is it?"

"How would you like to take my place at Lon Lon Ranch for awhile?" I said. "All you have to do is a bit of ranch work and keep an eye on my grandpa for me."

The hostler shrugged. "Sounds easy enough," he said. "What's the pay?"

"Umm... 200 rupees," I said. I figured that I would be able to afford that once the spiders paid me for helping them.

The hostler laughed. "You call that a lot?" he said.

"Well, how much do you get for your job here?" I asked.

There was a long silence.

"When can I start?" he asked.

"Right now," I said, giving him Midnight's reins. "Take this horse back to the ranch and explain to my grandpa (he should be asleep in the ranch house) all about our deal here. Also, tell him that I'm going to be away for awhile and that he shouldn't worry about me."

"What should I say if he wants to know where you are?" the hostler asked.

"Tell him I'm... er... visiting some friends," I said.

The hostler shrugged and soon he left with Midnight trailing behind him. I grinned at my brilliant scheme. Now that that was taken care of, all I had to worry about were Skulltullas.

I went to Zora's River to start my little quest. I didn't know where Zora's Domain was exactly, but the river had the word "Zora" in it, so I decided it must be close by. I walked alongside the water for awhile, listening to it trickle and bubble, and kept an eye out for any signs of a "domain". But my plan to just follow the river was quickly dashed. After only a few minutes of walking, I came to a dead end. The path along the river just suddenly ended and a huge wall of rock loomed in front of me, blocking my way.

I sighed. Now what? I looked around and saw that, on the other side of the river, there was a thin strip of land that I could walk on to continue on my way. But how could I get to it? The river was too wide to jump over and the current was too fast for me to swim across. I thought about it for awhile, but couldn't find a solution. I decided that this was the perfect time to test my web-thing out.

I examined the web-thing, wondering how I was supposed to talk to it. Finally, I just held it to my mouth and said:

"Jonas?"

As soon as I'd spoken, the web-thing suddenly glowed blue and I held it away from me in surprise.

"Yes, m'lady?" came Jonas' voice.

His voice was coming from the glowing web-thing, but it sounded like he was right there in front of me. I took a moment to admire how cool that was, then spoke again:

"Uh... hi," I said. "I'm at Zora's River."

"Oh, good," said Jonas' voice. "Zora's Domain is right at the end of the river. There's a big waterfall... You can't miss it."

"Ok, thanks," I said. "Um... I need help with something else, though."

"What is it?" Jonas asked. His voice sounded slightly curious.

"I have to cross the river," I said. "But I... don't know how."

"Oh..." said Jonas.

There was a pause and I assumed that he was thinking.

"Are there any fallen logs or something nearby that you could use as a bridge?" Jonas said at last.

I looked around. "Nope."

"Darn..." said Jonas. "Um... I don't suppose you have a hookshot do you?"

"A hook-what?"

"Right, never mind," said Jonas.

He stopped to think again and I waited, growing a little impatient. He didn't talk again for a long time and, deciding that he wouldn't be coming up with a solution anytime soon, I sat down on a nearby rock to wait. A cool breeze snaked by, playing with my bangs and the grass under my feet. I closed my eyes to relax for a little while... but my resting was instantly interrupted by a weird noise coming from nearby.

"Bok bok... BWAAK bok bok..."

I opened one eye to see what it was and, to my surprise, there was a very lost-looking cucco walking around right next to me. I stared at it. What was a cucco doing by the river? I wondered vaguely whether it had escaped from the ranch or from the Kakariko cucco lady as it wandered over to the riverbank and started scratching around. I noticed that it was getting a little too close to the water for comfort and, having grown up with cuccos and grown a little fond of them in the process, I saw it as my duty to make sure the little guy didn't drown. I got up and grabbed the cucco before it went into the water.

But apparently the cucco didn't like being rescued.

It started flapping its wings wildly and squawking like there was no tomorrow. I fought to hold on to it and held it over my head so that it wouldn't scratch my face.

"Ow! Stop it!" I hissed. "Stop it you crazy little beast!"

"Excuse me?" came Jonas' voice from the web-thing, which was now hanging around my neck.

But I was too preoccupied to answer him. I fought with the insane cucco for a few more minutes before it let out an extra-loud "BWAAAAK" and flapped its wings harder than ever. The whole thing completely overwhelmed me and I lost my balance and fell into the river. Or rather, I SHOULD have fallen into the river. But, by some strange bit of luck, the cucco was flapping its wings hard enough to lift us both up a little so that neither of us touched the water. Instead, we sort of glided across the river and ended up on the sliver of land that I had been trying to get to before.

When my feet were on solid ground again, I finally let go of the cucco and it bounced away, clucking angrily. I was still trying to figure out what the heck had just happened, when Jonas spoke through the web-thing again:

"What was that all about?" he asked. "I heard a bunch of yelling and clucking..."

"Uh... I just flew across the river on a cucco," I said.

There was an astonished silence. Then Jonas said: "Well... That's interesting..."

"Definitely..." I said. "So, I guess I'm across the river now. Thanks for the help."

A laugh came from the web-thing. "I didn't help," said Jonas. "It's the cucco you should be thanking!"

Then, the web-thing stopped glowing. I guessed that meant that Jonas was done talking.

I chuckled at his cucco remark and went to find the critter that had "helped" me.The cucco was wandering around by the river again, looking as lost as ever.

"Well, thanks little guy," I said to it. "You saved me a lot of trouble... and caused some too. It was nice meeting you."

And with that, I continued to follow the river in search of Zora's Domain. But the sound of quiet clucking behind me told me that I wasn't alone. I turned around and saw that the cucco was following me.

"Oh, so you like me now, huh?" I said, teasingly.

"Bok bok bok," said the cucco.

"Alright," I said. "You can follow me if you want. Who knows, I might even need your help again."

The cucco seemed to agree and stayed at my heels as I continued up the river. Eventually, the river started to break into small waterfalls and rapids and I found myself climbing up steep slopes to keep following it. Around then was when my cucco companion started to get on my nerves. Every time I climbed up a rock or a slope, it jumped onto my back and rodeon me until I reached the top. And sometimes it even pecked me in the head while it was up there, which really, really hurt! After almost an hour of this abuse, I came to one conclusion: this cucco was evil.

"Leave me alone!" I cried, after a specifically painful head-pecking.

"Bok BWAAAK," said the cucco.

"Don't talk back to me!" I snapped. Then I stopped. Why was I having this kind of a conversation with a CUCCO? Maybe I'd been pecked in the head harder than I'd thought...

"Look," I said, feeling insane. "Just stop following me, ok little guy? It was fun while it lasted... well, not really, but you get my point. Run along now..."

I reached down to gently push the cucco away from me, but it pecked my hand.

"OW!" I yelped. I examined my poor hand and saw a drop of blood welling out from one of my fingertips. I put the injured digit in my mouth to suck on it.

"Bad cucco!" I said around my finger. "Very bad cucco!"

"BWAAAAK!" said the cucco.

I'm not sure why that made me angry, but I was about to give the cucco a good kick when something suddenly caught my eye. Forgetting about the evil little bird for a moment, I looked to the river and saw something that made my blood run cold. There, standing on the water, was a giant, blue spider. It had just one blood-red eye and it was staring at me. I let out a strangled squeak. I doubted that this spider would be as friendly as Jonas...

And, to my horror, itwas startingtowards me.

It hopped instead of crawled across the water and soon it was so close to me that I could see the hairs on its spindly legs. At first, I was frozen in terror. Then, I panicked. I needed help and I needed it FAST. Jonas was the first thing to come to mind. I fumbled with the web-thing until I was holding it to my mouth.

"JONAS!" I shrieked. "Jonas, there's a huge blue spider! Whaddo I do!"

"Huh, what?" said Jonas, his voice making the web-thing glow again. "M'lady, what are you talking about?"

"There's a giant spider in the water and it's coming right at me!" I practically screamed into the web-thing.

"Oh dear..." said Jonas. "That's... not good..."

"OF COURSE IT'S NOT GOOD!" I yelled. "NOW HELP ME!"

"Uh, yes, yes..." said Jonas, nervously. "Sorry. Um... Throw something at it."

I looked around wildly, trying to find something to throw. The first thing I saw was the cucco and, without thinking, I picked it up and chucked it at the spider. The cucco landed on the spider with a startled "BWWWAAAAAKKK" and the spider exploded, its remains bursting into blue flames. The cucco ended up in the water and was, luckily for it, swept back to shore.

I blinked.

"Are you alright, m'lady?" came Jonas' voice.

"Yeah..." I said shakily. "I'm ok... Thanks."

"No problem," said Jonas. "Be careful of those monsters..."

And without another word, the web-thing stopped glowing.

I just stood there for awhile, still not quite believing that I'd just caused a giant water spider to blow up. Or I guess my little cucco friend had. I went over to where the wet and still-shocked cucco was standing by the water.

"I guess you saved me again," I said to the cucco. "Sorry about throwing you..."

But I never got to say anything else. Before I knew it, the cucco was on top of me and pecking the living daylights out of my head. I screamed and threw my arms over my face to protect it.

So far, this was definitely a strange adventure.

E1pnvn's Other Note: Uh... Sorry if that chapter was a little out there. I wrote most of it at about 3am one night (or morning, I guess) when I was hyper on the sugar from one too many ice-cream sundaes and couldn't fall asleep. So that would explain the weirdness. Well, anyway, time to thank the reviewers:

Atchika - Thanks! By the way, I like that drawing on your profile. I draw a lot but not nearly as good as that, that's for sure!

neogirl7900 - I'm glad you weren't confused (phew). But why are you embarassed by your story? It's very good!

Black Triforce - Yay, I was hoping that the spiders would seem human! I'm glad you think they do.

Vladimir the Hamster - It would seem that we are bound together by both our age and the inability to spell the names of chicken-like creatures...

Greki - I agree. It was interesting hearing the story behind your reviewing kindness!

Dark Elven Warrior - Yay, a fellow spider-fearer! I read your profile by the way. It seems like Null needs a hug, haha!

treecko/Sailor Star Saturn - Um... Why "sweatdrop"? If there's something you don't like, please tell me...

Haunir - Yay! I feel special again, thank you!

Once again, thanks to all who reviewed and those who haven't should comment too! But wait, I have something else to say too:

E1PNVN'S THIRD AND VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: Sorry, but I probably won't be able to update again for awhile. My family and I are going to the Galapagos! (Wahoo!) So, I won't be updating for about two weeks. I might be able to squeeze in another chapter before we leave, but it's kind of unlikely so don't count on it. I promise that I'll try to update as soon as I get back though!


	4. Something Fishy

E1pnvn's Note: I'm BA-ACK! Wahoo! And let me say that I am SOOOOO SORRY for the long wait. I said I'd be back in two weeks, but it ended up more like four weeks because right when we got back from the Galapagos, our DSL stopped working and we couldn't access the internet for some reason. (We lost our water for a few days too. It wasn't a very nice welcome home present.) But, as for the actual trip, the Galapagos was amazing! For those of you who might remotely care, I wrote afew paragraphsabout it at the bottom of the page, right before the thank-yous. And... um... yeah, that's it. Here's (finally) chapter four!

DISCLAIMER - I don't own Zelda. I don't own any islands either... It would be so nice to have both...

SKULLTULLA HAUS

By E1pnvn

Chapter four - Something Fishy

When I had been thoroughly pecked half to death, the cucco was finallysatisfied and let me be. It went clucking down the river in the opposite direction I was headed in and soon disappeared around a corner. I was more than a little relieved to see it go. Although, I did feel a tiny bit lonely when I continued on my quest without the evil little bird. I kind of missed having something around to talk to, even if it only responded with clucks. I walked on in this bored state of mind, wishing for some kind of a companion, until I realized that there WAS someone I could talk to. And the means of talking to him was hanging around my neck.

I examined the web-thing while I walked and held it to my mouth.

"Hey, Jonas, are you there?" I asked.

As usual, the web-thing glowed blue and Jonas' voice said: "Yes, can I help you, m'lady?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could he said: "Oh, you haven't run into any other monsters, have you?"

"No, no, I'm fine," I said. "I just wanted to... talk."

There was a long, awkward silence.

"Why?" Jonas asked.

I sighed. "I don't know," I said. "I'm just kind of lonely, I guess. I wanted someone to talk to..."

"Oh... ok," said Jonas. "Um... What do you want to talk about?"

I scampered my way up a small slope, letting the web-thing fall back around my neck.

"Dunno, what do you want to talk about?" I asked, loud enough to be heard, even without the web-thing by my mouth.

"Well... I haven't really had a conversation like this in over ninety years..." Jonas said.

"But you talk to Gustave and the others, don't you?" I said. "What do you guys talk about?"

"Hmm..." said Jonas, as I climbed over a few more rocks. "Well, Gustave usually talks about his old blacksmithing buisness. He always wonders what ever happened to it since both he and his apprentice disappeared. And as for Anne and Leonard... They're usually fighting about something or other. The other day Anne was crying because Leonard forgot that it was the 116th anniversary of the day they met..."

"Sounds... interesting," I said. "Don't you ever get bored with the same old thing for years and years?"

"Sometimes," said Jonas. "But it would be a lie to say that there's never anything to do at Skulltulla Haus..."

"Skulltulla Haus?" I interrupted. "What's that?"

"Oh..." There was a light chuckle from Jonas. "That's what we call the house we stay in. It's kind of our own little joke... It's like saying that this house is some quaint little inn or something that we have all to ourselves. It's basically just something we made up to laugh at whenever things look bleak."

I thought about that. It didn't seem like that bad of an idea...

"So, if you don't talk to your friends, what do you do at Skulltulla Haus?" I asked.

"Oh, lots of things," said Jonas. "I'm the one who tries to comfort Gustave when he mourns his lost buisness. And I'm the nuetral one in all of Anne and Leonard's arguments. Plus, I'm in charge of greeting humans, like you, when they venture into our house. So, really, I have a lot of jobs to do around here. But, on the rare occasion that I find myself bored, I make webs."

"You make webs?" I repeated.

"Well, what else is a spider supposed to do for fun?" said Jonas. "I'm actually rather good at it. Once, I made a giant picture of Hyrule Castle out of web on the ceiling. But then a bunch of flies got stuck in it and ruined it..."

"I see..." I murmured. "Um... Sounds fun."

Jonas chuckled. "You don't sound convinced," he said. "By the way, have you made it to the waterfall yet?"

I started to say "no", but then I turned a corner and, sure enough, I found myself staring at a waterfall. It was tall, almost thirty feet, and roaring.

"Uh, yes actually," I said. "What do I do now?"

"Just walk into the waterfall," said Jonas. "There's a huge door behind the water."

"How do I open the door?" I asked.

"It's always open," Jonas replied. "The Zoras used to only let members of the royal family into their Domain, but now it's open to the general public. All you have to do is walk into the waterfall."

"Ok," I said. "And what do I do once I'm inside?"

"Look for a big, ugly spider," said Jonas. "The Skulltulla's in there somewhere."

"Got it," I said. "Bye, Jonas."

"Goodbye," said Jonas, and the web-thing stopped glowing.

I approached the waterfall; the sound of the water was almost deafening. Then, I took a deep breath and walked into it.

The water beat down on me as I went through, but not hard enough to stop me from reaching the door on the other side. I entered and was instantly stunned by what I saw.

Zora's Domain was a giant, hollowed out cave with a huge pool of water in its center. The water was the prettiest shade of blue I had ever seen and around it there were pathways and houses cut into the rock, all lit by torches. It was an amazing scene. But even more amazing were the Zoras themselves. They looked almost human, except that they were blue and had fishtails and fins. I had heard of the Zoras and how they were fish-people, but I was still shocked to see them in person. I'd expected them to be grotusque and deformed-looking. But instead, everything about the Zoras was elegant, from the way they looked to the way they moved. That plus the scenery was enough to make me stand in the doorway with my mouth hanging open for a few minutes.

But my fly-catching was soon interrupted by a pair of Zoras that came running by. Before I knew what was happening, they ran into me and knocked me off of the path, sending me hurtling into the pool of water below. I could only just let out a surprised yelp before splashing into the water. I went under, then bobbed back up to the surface. Coughing and sputtering, I looked around for my offenders. The Zoras in question were still up near the entrance, looking at me. They looked identical. Were they twins?

"Hey you two!" I yelled at them. "Watch where you're going! You could've killed somebody, running around and knocking into people like that!"

"Sorry!" one of the twins replied, cupping his hands around his mouth to amplify his voice. "Just hang on a sec; we'll get you out of there!"

"No, that's ok-" I started, but the two Zoras had already dived into the pool.

They landed on either side of me, splashing me in the process. They came up and smiled at me, then each of them grabbed one of my arms.

"HEY! What are you doing!" I yelped, kicking my legs.

"Helping you!" said one of the twins.

And with that, the two Zoras swam like dolphins back to land, dragging me along like I was a rag doll. When we had reached a path, the twins tossed me up rather roughly before climbing up themselves. I rubbed my poor, bruising arms and got to my feet. The two dripping Zoras smiled at me.

"Thanks," I grumbled, not really meaning it.

"No problem," said one of the twins.

"Sorry for knocking you over," said the other. "But we were in a hurry. I'm Tadzi by the way."

He held out his hand and shook mine enthusiastically.

"And I'm Taft," said the other twin.

He grabbed my hand too, even though his brother was still holding it, and they both shook it, so much so that I was afraid they'd pull my arm out of its socket. I finally managed to pull my hand away and stroked it gently.

"Um...great," I said. "My name's Sara."

"Sara?" said Tadzi. "Oh, I knew a Sara once! She was really nice. But she had this strange foot condition that made her toes green..."

"I remember her!" said Taft. "Her name was Sara Greenridge. But we always called her Sara Greentoe instead!"

They continued in this manner as I listened, my patience depleting rapidly. By now, I had decided that the twins were either clinically insane or just plain obnoxious.

"Hey," I interrupted after awhile. "Um... That's a great story and all, but I kind of have to find something, so if you'll excuse me-"

"You have to FIND something?" Tadzi repeated. His eyes glistened excitedly.

"Um... Yeah..." I said.

"Then you're in luck!" said Taft. "My brother and I are private gills!"

"Private what?" I asked.

"Gills," said Tadzi. "You know, like detectives."

"Don't you mean private EYES?" I asked.

"HYLIAN detectives are private eyes," Taft said, knowingly. "Zoran detectives are private gills."

"Oh... I see..." I said. I didn't really like where this was going.

"So, we'll be able to help you!" Tadzi said, confirming my fears.

I had a horrible mental picture of the two of them dragging me around in circles by my arms, calling for the Skulltulla as if it was a lost dog.

"Uh, well," I said. "Thanks for the offer, but I really don't think you should help me..."

"She's right!" said Taft. He turned to his brother. "Tadzi, as nice as Sara is, we still have a much more important mission to focus on. All of Zora's Domain could depend on it, remember?"

"Oh, yes, yes," said Tadzi. "Sorry, Sara, but he's right. We can't help you; we're too busy."

I blinked. "Wait... What are you guys talking about?" I asked.

Taft looked around to make sure no one was listening. Then, he leaned in close to me and whispered: "We'retrying to foil a Zoran conspiracy."

I raised an eyebrow. Somehow, I couldn't see these guys doing serious detective work.

"Our monarch, Queen Ruto, has a horrible plot to destroy the Zoras' very way of life!" said Tadzi. "And we have to stop her! The only problem is... well..."

"No one believes us," Taft finished.

I couldn't imagine why.

"So... what is this 'evil plot'?" I asked. I didn'texactly knowwhy I was humoring them, but I was curious nonetheless.

"Uh... We don't really know," said Tadzi.

"But Ruto IS up to something!" said Taft. "We're sure about that."

"I see..." I said. "Well, I guess I should get going then."

I turned to leave, but the twins moved in front of me.

"You believe us, don't you?" Tadzi asked. There was something like pleading in his voice.

I softened a little. They looked so pathetic... Actually, they kind of WERE so pathetic. I felt sorry for them.

"Sure," I said with a shrug. "I believe you."

"Great!" Taft cried. "Then you can help us!"

"What?" I said. "No, no, no. That's not what I meant..."

"But you're the only one who understands the truth besides us!" said Tadzi. "You HAVE to help us!"

They gave me those pleading, pathetic looks again. I sighed.

"Look, I'm sorry," I said. "But I really can't help you. I have to find that thing I was talking about and-"

"That's no problem!" Taft interrupted. "If you help us, we'll be able to save Zora's Domain in no time! And then Tadzi and I can help you find whatever you're looking for."

I considered this. Actually, I probably COULD use some help finding the Skulltulla. Zora's Domain was a big place...

"It'll be a piece of cake," Tadzi said. "Do we have a deal?"

I bit my lip. Then, I slowly nodded.

"Alright," I said. "Why not?"

The twins cheered. Then, before I could stop them, they grabbed my arms and whisked me away again.

They ran almost as fast as they swam and soon we were inside one of the houses that lined the path. I assumed it was the twins' house because it had two of everything. There were two beds, two chairs, two posters of some Zoran band called the Indigo-gos and so on. I wondered vaguely if they each had their own bathroom as they sat me down in one of the chairs.

"Hang on for a second," Tadzi said. "Taft and I are gonna go get our detective gear."

"And maybe a towel for you, too," Taft added. "You're kinda wet."

And with that, they disappeared into another room.

I leaned back in the chair and sighed. It looked liked Jonas and the others would have to wait awhile... I decided that I should probably inform Jonas of the delay. I whispered his name into the web-thing and, asalways, it glowed.

"Yes, m'lady?" said Jonas.

"Um..." I said, listening to the twins rummaging around in the other room. "I have something to tell you."

"Ok. I'm listening," said Jonas.

"Well..." I said. "I think it's going to take a bit longer for me to get that Skulltulla than planned. You see, I ran into these crazy Zoras and they want me to help them be detectives."

There was a long silence.

"Excuse me?" Jonas said. "Crazy Zoran detectives? What are you talking about?"

"It's a long story," I said, massaging my temple. "But I promised that I would help them. That isn't a problem, is it?"

"N-no, of course not..." said Jonas. But there was something odd about the way he said it.

I was about to ask him if he was alright, but just thenthe Zora twins returned and I quickly tucked the web-thing into my shirt to hide it.

"We're ready!" said Tadzi, as Taft threw me a towel.

I muttered a quick "thanks" and started to dry myself off. As I was drying my chest, I noticed that the web-thing wasn't glowing anymore. Jonas must have gotten the hint...

"So, what's your 'detective gear'?" I asked, just for the heck of it.

"We've got magnifying glasses and fingerprint powder and cool binoculars..." Tadzi said, counting them off on his fingers.

"And THIS," said Taft.

And he held up a book so that I could see it. It was a Zoran mystery novel called "The Adventures of Sherlock Shoalms".

"Sherlock Shoalms was the greatest private gill ever!" said Tadzi. "He's our hero."

"Even though he was made up." said Taft.

I just stared at them for a moment. Then, I sighed and got to my feet.

"Well, then," I said. "Let the investigation begin, I guess."

They grinned and grabbed my arms again, hurrying me out of the house.

E1pnvn's Other Note: Hmm... Well, sorry for the rather uneventful chapter. I feel bad because you guys waited so long and nothing really happened. But I had a pinch of writer's block so... sorry! Anyway, about my trip:

For those of you who don't know, the Galapagos are a group of volcanic islands off the coast of Ecuador (that's in South America, for those of you who don't know...)and they are famous for the strange animals that can be found there. For one,even though the Galapagos is on the Equator, there are cold sea currents that allow penguins and fur seals to live there. And there are also swimming iganuas and a weird bird called a blue-footed boobie that has bright blue feet (it's a very odd place). But, most importantly, the Galapagos is almost untouched by human influence, so the animals aren't afraid of people. They'll walk right up to you and let you walk up to them. In fact, it was kind of difficult to not step on any animals. One guy even mistook a sea lion for a rock and almost sat on it.

Anyway, my trip was a cruise through the islands. We went to two locations each day and saw a TON of amazing things. We went snorkeling and saw white-tipped reef sharks and all kinds of fish. But the best part was that penguins and sea lions swam with us! The sea lions were really playful and sometimes came up to blow bubbles at us or circle around us. We also hiked up plenty of volcanoes and saw some amazing scenery. But, my personal favorite part was this one island that was covered in birds. Birds were EVERYWHERE. The sky was practically moving with wings. But not only were their numbers amazing; the birds' behaviors were really cool too. It was mating season, so we saw frigit birds with inflated pouches and blue-footed boobies doing their mating dance. Boobies are really clumsy birds, you see,so their mating dance was pretty funny and involved much showing off of their blue suade feet. So, in short, the trip was FANTASTIC! I missed you all, of course, though. Speaking of which, it's thank you time:

Greki - You're welcome. I'm glad it's still cool!

neogirl7900 - I didn't realize that the cucco was so popular! Maybe I'll bring it back later.

Vladimir the Hamster - I'm glad you like the Skulltullas. And thank you for the inspiring story at the beginning of your review. Haha!

Dark Elven Warrior - Sorry I kept your waiting so long! Thanks for telling me how you think cucoo is spelled. I'm confused now though (more than normal, I mean). Maybe I should actually go and check the game... Hmm, novel idea...

monkeybait and Doray - I doubt you guys will actually be reading this, so I'll reply to your reviews next time I review your stories. But, in case you ARE reading this: thanks for the little alerts. I feel so appreciated!

Huanir - Again, sorry for the wait. Glad you liked the chicken dedication. I figured that one must always thank the little people, even if they are evil and have feathers...

Jaderill - Oh dear. You do realize that I'm probably going to get you and your sister mixed up now, right? Haha, this will be interesting. Anyway, I'm glad you guys like the story!

Sailor Star Mars - Ok... I understand... Please try to be a little less vague next time. Keep up the nice work on your story, by the way.

And that's that. I promise my next update won't be so far away. Although the next Harry Potter book IS coming out soon so there may be a few delays... Please review.


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